Bedtime Stories
by darth kittius
Summary: Hermione discovers Severus hid one of their wedding presents. Will it turn out to be a good one?  SSHG
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **These characters are not mine (but oh how I wish they were…). They are the property of J. K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**For:** **duniazade** for the **sshgexchange** on LiveJournal

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to **miniluv68** and **abeesbuzz** for the betas!! This was initially plotted as a three chapter story but was cut largely due to time. I will probably write chapter three sometime this fall. No DH spoilers because it was written pre-DH. There was a bit more to the note, but formatting won't allow it. If you want to see the first version, head to my LiveJournal.

**Prompt:** Postwar, a quiet evening. Hermione and Severus in bed, reading the new edition of Hogwarts, A History and chuckling over the inaccuracies or deliberate omissions; Severus explains to Hermione some episodes she didn't know about, including perhaps a few racier ones, which could lead to more. Alternative: same thing but with The Daily Prophet.

* * *

Severus swept into his bedroom and came to a sudden stop as he saw the chilly expression on his wife's face. His eyes flicked to the box set in front of her on her side of their bed. He knew exactly what that box was and cursed himself as he realized that he had completely forgot to move it to a better hiding place. Actually, he should have incinerated it upon receipt. Instead, he tried to conceal it from the woman known as 'the cleverest witch of her age.' Severus belatedly surmised that perhaps that had not been the best plan. Now he was going to have to deal with Hermione thinking he was hiding it purposely (which he was, of course, but there was no need for her to be aware of that) in addition to dealing with whatever was actually IN that box.

He scowled.

He drew her attention by clearing his throat, while arching his eyebrow in an unspoken question. Better to just let her have it out at him and then deal with the consequences. He'd discovered her temper was much like that of a Howler -- it only got worse if you avoided it.

Hermione was perched on their bed, her lips clenched into a line that would rival McGonagall's on a particularly irritated day. Her eyes flicked back and forth from the box to Severus. She was clearly waiting for an explanation, but when none was forthcoming she broke the silence. "So, husband, look what I found when I was doing my spring cleaning today. It was in one of the downstairs cupboards. Would you care to explain how it came to be there?"

His mind whirled. He knew that lying to her was out of the question; the dilemma was exactly how much of the truth to give her. He finally settled on the evasive answer, "It came to be there because I placed it there." With a further arched brow he challenged her to push the argument.

She flicked her eyebrow up to mirror his and she fixed him with a cold, hard glare. "I ask because this box appears to be a wedding present. A wedding present to us from one of my best friends. A wedding present that I never knew existed." She paused, clearly hoping he would explain why he had hidden away a gift meant for them both. When he did not, she continued, "I specifically recall Ron continuing to pepper me with questions about how I liked his gift. This was after I wrote him a thank you note for the decanter I thought was his only gift to us. I found it strange at the time. In fact, I remember mentioning it to you and asking if you knew any reason why he would do that. This is very clearly his handwriting on the tag. What possible reason could you have to hide this from me?"

"Have you opened it yet?"

"No, as I did with the others, I'm waiting for you. It is our gift; you should share in opening it. But I am much more interested in how and why you managed to separate it from the other gifts. And why you would hide it from me? Do you know what is in here? Why wouldn't you want me to see what my friend gave us?" With that, Severus saw her eyes change from angry to upset and hurt. He immediately moved over to the other side of the bed, sitting opposite her, on his side of the bed, with the offending package in between them. He used to upset her quite regularly, but she had become used to his moods and knew his harsh words were not to be taken seriously. It had been a long time since she had looked like that for good reason. Knowing that he needed to be honest with her, he lowered his head, as if to make a confession.

He spoke softly. "I did not remove it from the other gifts. Ron gave it to me, personally, on the day of the wedding. I hid it because…" His eyes flicked up to her; seeing her staring at him intently did not help his nervousness. He gestured frustratedly at the box. "He smirked when he gave it to me. SMIRKED!"

Severus watched as her eyebrow shot up higher than he thought was possible. But at the same time, she was carefully controlling her face, trying to hide her laughter. "Let me see if I understand this correctly. You hid a wedding present that was given to us by Ron…. because he smirked when he gave it to you?"

"Yes, well, yes. A smirking Weasley is never a good thing and he stated that he thought we would enjoy whatever is in that box. Quite frankly, I can think of nothing that he would think I would enjoy that would not bring profound irritation and horror to my life. So I stashed the box before you saw it. I now realize that I was distracted and forgot to go back and give the box a better hiding place. I will not allow you to distract me so easily the next time." Severus finished seductively, his eyes darkening, hoping that perhaps he would be able to distract her from the box.

Unfortunately she had more experience with Severus than that and was not sidetracked so easily. "Well then, I think we should see what Ron gave us." She moved closer to him, simultaneously starting to pull on the ribbon surrounding the now-more-eggshell-than-white wrapping paper.

Severus moved quickly to still her hands, staring at the package as if it was about to self-combust. "Wait. Wait. If you insist on opening that box, then at least let me cast some diagnostic spells on it. Merlin only knows what could be in there." He plucked his wand from on top of his stack of journals before waving the ebony stick intricately while chanting incantations under his breath. Finally he replaced his wand carefully and motioned toward the box, "Very well, if you must, it does not appear that Weasley has anything too overtly harmful in there."

Severus watched as Hermione resumed her efforts to open the box in the precise manner in which she always opened gifts, bow first, then carefully loosening the tape, then reaching for the card, which she would open before finishing extracting the gift. As she opened the card, she automatically began reading out loud for him:

_Hermione and _

Hermione did not pause as she heard a snort erupt out of her husband, who was still intently watching the box.

_I hope both of our marriages this year will not cause us to grow apart in any way. And __Snape__ Severus, whatever our differences, even I can see that you make Hermione very happy. See that you continue to put a smile on her face for years to come_

Enjoy!

Severus, who had been reading the card over Hermione's shoulder, looked up and realized she was very close to tears. Of course the time that he hid the gift had to be the one time Weasley had been thoughtful! What else could that boy do to ruin him! Severus wiped the distaste off his expression by the time Hermione glanced away from the card and at him. He nodded at her and she leaned over the gift to finish unwrapping it. Suddenly she gasped and looked up at him. "Severus!" Tears really did start to escape from her now. She quickened her movements - removing tissue paper and extracting -- books? She handed him one of the two similar volumes. His was covered in soft green dragonhide, hers in equally supple looking red dragonhide. He looked down in amazement at the volume in his hands. There in silver it read _Hogwarts: A History_, along with an exquisite imprint of the Hogwarts Crest. He glanced at her copy, which read the same in gold lettering.

She now was quite emotional, but still reverently examining the cover of her tome. He caught her eye as she glanced up at him. "His and Hers copies of _Hogwarts: A History_. How…surprisingly appropriate." It was his tone of voice that caused her to smirk at him herself. She reached out and swatted at his arm. "Severus, this is the most thoughtful gift I could have imagined. I used to bore Harry and Ron quoting from this book all the time! They must have thought I was just terrible! But it was a brilliant way to learn about the Magical world -- _The Magical Realm for Dummies _had not come out yet."

Her eyes shone with excitement as she suddenly stopped talking. She was going to continue, but she let the next words die in her throat at seeing the amused look on his face.

Severus simply smiled. "It was not only Harry and Ron to whom you quoted this book. I recall it being mentioned in my presence on several occasions. And the past tense might not be needed. You still quote from it more than you might realize."

Her eyes still gleaming with joyful tears, Hermione flipped open her volume and then suddenly got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked, alarmed. Now that he knew the gift was not going to harm either of them, he hoped to have a nice evening with his wife.

"I have to write Ron a Thank You Owl. I'll go over in the morning, of course. But I have to let him know that we finally opened his gift - one that I never knew about." She glared at him again while ending her statement.

"Really, Hermione. Ronald can wait until the morning. Merlin knows that you will be awake in plenty of time to send him an owl before he manages to arise. It won't make a difference if you send it this instant or when you wake." He motioned to her side of the bed. "Now, why don't you just get back in here and we can enjoy a pleasant evening reading our new gifts? I believe this is actually the revised version and I am quite looking forward to seeing what has been changed."

Hermione looked like she was considering his words. "It is true that he won't get up until late. Maybe I can take him breakfast as thanks and show up in the morning. Oh! Severus! I just can't believe he did something this nice for us. He was still relatively hostile to the idea of our marriage, but he picked out such a thoughtful gift!"

Severus motioned for Hermione to return to bed. "It was surprisingly thoughtful and I am quite certain that food would be welcomed by Weasley in the morning. Until then, come, read with me." Severus Summoned his reading spectacles and placed his wand on the stack of journals beside their bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **These characters are not mine (but oh how I wish they were…). They are the property of J. K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**For:** **duniazade** for the **sshgexchange**

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to **miniluv68** and **abeesbuzz** for the betas!! This was initially plotted as a three chapter story but was cut largely due to time. I will probably write chapter three sometime this fall. No DH spoilers.

**Prompt:** Postwar, a quiet evening. Hermione and Severus in bed, reading the new edition of Hogwarts, A History and chuckling over the inaccuracies or deliberate omissions; Severus explains to Hermione some episodes she didn't know about, including perhaps a few racier ones, which could lead to more. Alternative : same thing but with The Daily Prophet.

* * *

Hermione settled herself, propped up against a stack of pillows that she kept by the bed for when she was reading. Observing her, Severus allowed himself to relax and opened his new copy of _Hogwarts: A History._ Even he had to give Ronald credit for this one. Severus had never once imagined that there could be something enjoyable in that box. Not only was Hermione going to love reading her copy over and over again, Severus also had a deep, if well-hidden, attachment to the book. He liked reading through and noting what was left out of the stories he had come to know through his time as a professor. The only downside he could see was that Hermione would probably demand that they have Ronald and his brood over for dinner soon which would require his being polite to Ronald for an extended period of time. Severus absentmindedly flipped through the pages as he grimaced, imagining with dread the tediousness of the inevitable dinner conversation. 

He was startled out of his thoughts when Hermione began speaking. "Severus, I've always meant to ask you about this:

_The third Potions Master was Gaspard Shingleton. Shingleton was renowned for delighting his classes with his frequent absences. Many students thought he was forgetful and absentminded, but a select few of his seventh years knew that Shingleton was often distracted by his private research. Shingleton was an avid researcher, who was more dedicated to his own potions inventions than he was to teaching his students. He unadvisedly, and without Headmaster Everard's permission, Magically expanded his office to include a private research suite._

_Headmaster Everard was content to look the other way about his regular absences from class as the students learned a great deal when he was there. However, the Headmaster could not ignore the increasingly problematic sunken area in the middle of the grounds created by his unauthorized research facility. Therefore, Master Shingleton was only the schools' Potions Master for four years before moving on to found the Potions Division of the Department of Magical Research at the Ministry of Magic. After his departure, Hogwarts was protected so that the walls could only be moved with a Headmaster's permission._

"I've always wondered about him. Only two little paragraphs, but it seems like there is a much bigger story. Do you know anything else?"

"Oh, I know plenty," Severus replied. "His only useful contribution was the Self-Stirring Cauldron. That helps out immensely when I have to leave my own research in order to baby-sit the students. If he had created it while he was at Hogwarts, maybe a few more classes would have been taught! I still suspect that Headmaster Everard forced the Ministry's hand; they had no desire to research Potions, and still do not, it is their least funded research ministry. I heard that once he was at the Ministry he still created problems – trying to constantly get the biggest and most well-funded projects. He was, of course, correct about the range of problems that could be tied to potion solutions, but he just did not have the ability to convince the Ministry. Even if he had, his later notebooks showed that he probably wouldn't have been able to develop a successful potion."

Hermione interrupted. "But he did invent the cauldron late in life, didn't he?"

"Yes, he became quite proficient at inventing various shortcuts to the traditional methods. His inventions are widely used, but most of us prefer the traditional methods whenever we can spare the time. There is still some question of how the magic used in his shortcuts interacts with the essential Magic in the potions. I do not use any of his legacies when I brew the Wolfsbane, for example. But I was forced to use them from time to time when I was working on something and would be called away, for any of the various interruptions. I think I have some notes on him from work I did during my apprenticeship. I can attempt to locate them tomorrow if you'd be interested."

"Oh yes, that would be wonderful. Thank you, Severus."

With a nod, Severus turned back to his own reading, knowing that Hermione would likely re-read the passage on Shingleton before continuing on in the book. He had no doubt it would only take her a few more pages before finding something else to read to him – always asking a question at the end. Even with his best efforts, he had not figured out how to stop her constant questions and he wasn't sure he would want to anymore. Her questions were more often than not very well thought out and generally led his own thoughts in new directions. She'd helped him extensively on his research, even though she had not chosen to pursue either potions or defense herself.

Severus was surprised when his peripheral vision noticed that Hermione was skipping pages. Not seemingly in search of something, more so like she was just perusing the book, as if she were in a bookstore. He wondered what time period her next passage would come from. Before long, she did speak up again. "I don't think I've read this story before. It's from about the time they were integrating the students from Cuyler after it was closed."

_During integration, there were few problems. The faculty was surprised that the Hogwarts students seemed quite accepting of their cousins from Cuyler. Cuyler was a pure-blood-only school and most discipline issues came from their students being forced to take courses with Muggleborns for the first time. For a short time, a new dormitory section was created to ease the new transfers into Hogwarts. The dormitories were shut down not, as some would assume, with the sorting and acceptance into Hogwarts houses, but with the discovery that the boys' Cuyler dormitory was being used for dangerous Potions experiments - an incident that led to the expulsion of one Aeneas Coffey. _

"Why does his name sound familiar, Severus?"

"Ah. Yes. Coffey was from a highly prestigious Irish family. He, like Draco Malfoy, was an only child. But unlike Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Coffey was fascinated by Muggle technology from the time he was young, having grown up in a Muggle village in France. From what I have heard, although this was before my time, putting Mr. Coffey in the same school as the Muggleborn population caused his already inquisitive mind to, well, do what yours did when you first entered the Magical world. I believe he managed to talk one of his Ravenclaw classmates into obtaining a few Muggle physics textbooks over the winter break. The experiment that went wrong was not Potions at all, but the master at the time could not understand the concept of the application of Muggle physics to Magical ingredients. I would have liked to have known what Mr. Coffey could have done in that field if he had been allowed to complete his Magical education. The stories I've heard have made it seem as if he might have been competent enough to make some significant advances."

"But what did he do after leaving Hogwarts?"

"I understand that he tried to go home, but his family ignored him. It was the last straw for them; not only was he obsessed with Muggles, but he had also been expelled from school. They tried to get him into Beauxbatons, but his reputation had preceded him. He still attempted to find a place in the Magical world, but soon became more familiar and more comfortable in the Muggle world, attending Trinity College. I believe his most famous accomplishment was the creation of the column still. From what I gather, it is a variety of still that consists of two columns. They are still frequently used in the production of grain whisky. At the time there was no doubt that it was a revolutionary distilling apparatus. Early Coffey stills produced 60 over proof spirit. Modern versions can achieve 66-68 over proof, approximately 95 pure alcohol."

"Have you used one of those stills or are they used anywhere in the Magical world?"

"Yes, actually, they're widely used by Potions Masters for many of the advanced potions. I use it for brewing the Wolfsbane and am using it in my current project. It's very useful. Oh, and Ogden's relies exclusively on it, although I still believe there is some enhancement they haven't told the public about."

"Fascinating," Hermione replied. "How did you come to know his story?"

Severus sat back and looked to the ceiling, trying to remember. "I learned about the column still first, but didn't know he had any connection to the Magical world for a long time. It may have been at a Potions conference? I believe there was one towards the beginning of my Mastership that had a session on Magical/Muggle crossover inventions and their uses in both worlds. I never gave that session much thought until I came back to Hogwarts. I wonder if I could find those notes again, I don't remember seeing them with my other conference notes."

"It's interesting how much is missing from this book. There's so much in it, but I think you must know at least twice as much about the history of Hogwarts."

Severus winced, "That is what results when one is forced to socialize with the other staff members. I would not know as much if I had been allowed to isolate myself with my research." In an attempt to divert this line of thinking, Severus suggested, "I believe that these are the revised editions, you may wish to flip closer to the end of the volume. You might just read some of your adventures there. I would wager that they have recorded them in quite a humorous fashion!"

He quietly smirked to himself at the eager expression that appeared on Hermione's face as she smiled at him and flipped towards the back of the volume. Really, it was too easy to distract her with books. He settled once again on his own propped up pillow and pulled his book back towards him.

Severus flipped through his own book, reading from no section in particular. He was quite surprised Hermione had not interrupted him again. She was occasionally chuckling or making other soft noises.

After about twenty minutes Severus glanced over, only to find his wife had fallen asleep. He debated if he should let her sleep with her book, as she did many nights when she fell asleep reading. Eventually he realized that this volume was being subjected to her drooling. Severus removed his reading glasses and placed his own copy of the book on his bedside table before leaning over to extract her volume from her grip.

Hermione's eyes fluttered open as Severus was reaching across her to place her book on her bedside table. He belatedly realized he should have just Levitated her book over there. "Thanks," she mumbled.

Severus allowed her to see a rare smile before replying "You're welcome, sleep now. We'll read more in the morning."

Hermione smiled back at him before closing her eyes fully to return to sleep.

Severus settled back to his side of the bed and studied his wife for a few moments. He did like the evenings when she would fall asleep before he would and he was able to watch her so peacefully slumbering. He allowed one more, feint smile to cross his face before murmuring "Nox."

As Severus was drifting to sleep he suddenly realized, to his extreme annoyance, that he really was going to have to thank Ronald for his gift. He resolved that he wouldn't, however, give him the satisfaction of knowing what a lovely evening the gift had already produced. Severus was sure this was just the first of many evenings that his wife would pepper him with questions about events mentioned in the books.


End file.
